NAVESZN | Not Sure If I let God into All of My Ugly Spaces: Have You?

This is not an interview or the thoughts of the model. These are the thoughts of Nave

One thing that the enemy gone do is lie and distract. And I ain’t gone lie, if you are not careful you will be fooled or distracted. I’m not gone sit on Kanye West’s internet and pretend that it’s not hard to fight. I forget at times to let God fight my battles. Casting down thoughts can be a fight but you have to do it. I’m learning that.

Learning to just trust God. I thought I did. But sometimes I realize that there are still places that I will not let The Almighty into even though He’s there already and knows. I know it’s wrong but it’s hard. I don’t always like doing the hard thing. Like speaking up when I know that I should about how I feel about something. Do you?

I want to be 10 toes with God but why is it that we often times don’t think that we can?

Is God going to judge us like man? Is He going to hurt us? the Bible says perfect love casts out all fear. So why am I afraid? I have God and He is perfect love. It must mean that I don’t trust Him in that way. I want to but maybe I don’t know how. Maybe I think He’ll leave like the others? Maybe once I’m honest with my friend, father…savior; I can be more transparent with those around me.

I’m a smart girl but I tend to overthink a lot. I think I’m right about negative scenarios even though I want the scenario to be opposite of what I’m thinking. I think we call that “self sabotage’ or maybe “pride.” Many would call it ruminating. I don’t want that for me anymore. Caring too much to be right…to see a scenario play out how I think it’s going to play out in my head, God no. I just want the God given scenario. Or actually I want the scenario that involves the most minimum amount of pain.

I want Jesus’s frame of reference. But it takes faith. To think I can legit have crazy faith about somethings. Other things I’m like “Yeah God gone let me down on that one.” Doesn’t the Bible say “He’ll never leave nor forsake us?”