Is Soft Girl Szn Fake?
September 14, 2022
We’ve all seen the captions, “Soft Girl Szn.” I’m here for it. This is for the girls who do a lot of work and then feel it at the end of the day. Or the girl who’s been carrying other peoples’ emotional loads and burdens. Or maybe you just have been super rough on yourself, by thoughts, words or deeds. Or maybe you want to travel. Shout out to you for embracing this trend that hopefully turns into an actual positive lifestyle change.
Well I can say I think that this soft girl szn trend is very relevant.
While that may fit for some I think we can take a different approach to this trend. I saw a post (that I currently can’t find) which spoke on Soft Girl Szn lulling us into a false sense of reality where girls treat themselves to expensive meals, travel, etc. And I agree that that may be a little far fetched for some but maybe not for others. But I believe there is a middle ground that we can all agree on which goes a bit deeper than pink, dinners, travel, social media reels and surface level self care.
Angair Biong by Ekua King for Elle UK Magazine October 2022
For me personally, pregnancy forced me further into some what of my soft girl szn. I realized that being pregnant is such a delicate time in a woman’s life. So many changes. I’ve seen my body grow in ways I’ve never seen before. I gained 30lbs. My feet swell. My emotions can sometimes be in a battle of what I should and shouldn’t react to. Let’s not mention that I walk like a cowboy now simply because my baby is growing and dropping everyday. But even deeper, in the first trimesters I had to be careful and aware of myself because that timeframe is when miscarriage is highest.
I’ve had to say no to more people than one. And I’ve had to let my husband treat me even more like a flower and allow him to learn how to be more gentle. Lastly, I definitely am continuing to evolve into who God created me to be with casting off the pressures of the world.
I began to realize my worth and delicacy as a woman. I believe that upon understanding the value of you and the person who set your value, the creator, God; you automatically have to start digging into what we probably should call “Soft Girl Life.” It shouldn’t be simply for a szn that we choose to place a premium on how we value ourselves and it’s more than money can buy.
Granted, not everything we saw from her was perfect but my home girl was the epitome of resting in what it was to be an heir. No, she was not about to do things in her own strength. “Daddy will pay for that.” She knew she was cute and she did what intrinsically made her happy.
We extend a bit more grace. We exemplify humility. We give more mercy. We walk in our delicacy but also the light that beams on the inside of us. I think softness and gentleness is a beautiful attribute of our Father.
“Slowing down. Definitely taking time out for yourself. Sometimes you’re moving too fast. And all of our life we’ve learned to be hard and rough but I believe soft girl szn means to take the time out to be yourself and love on yourself. To be gentle. It’s important to be gentle especially if you desire to be a wife because you can’t be hard and rough and it could be taken as masculine. And it can be bad for your relationship status. I believe it’s taking time and slowing down. Being gentle and loving yourself.”
“From the little I gathered, it’s kind of a luxury life for black women. But more so the luxury to be human & express emotions in safe outlets since we aren’t really guaranteed that. The luxury side includes pampering & being taken care of through dates, traveling, debt free, lingerie etc. I personally don’t use it because most of it is a façade to me. And many women trying to live that lifestyle are doing so at the cost of debt & approval.”
“Soft girl season to me means resting in the reality of God’s sovereignty in my life. I’ve never understood what it meant when people said “the safest place to be is in the will of God.” And now I understand. Because I’m His, because my foundation is in Him, because He is my father, and the Lord of my life not only can I rest in my femininity but I can truly walk in my identity as God’s princess in boldness and fearlessness.”
“When I hear soft girl season, or (era) it translates to me as a temporary stepping down from masculinity. As if this person previously lived a life that did not allow them to embrace their vulnerability or the aspects of their make up and character that makes them different from men(women). I know it’s trending now, but it has always translated to me this way and presents many questions, like what were you like before then? Were you unsafe to tap into this side of yourself? And does this translate just to the fact your dressing more girly now??? Why.. what made you unsafe to find the balance between your femininity & masculinity.”
“Allowing yourself to be sensitive. Allowing help from others and showing up for yourself more everyday.”
“Nothing, it’s a new trend that came about. Okay I’ll cooperate. *slight laughter* It’s basically like self care, bubble baths, candles, going out, doing what you desire for yourself. Tuning into your femininity whether that means changing your wardrobe, cutting off a relationship. That’s what it really means. Putting you first. “I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST LUSCIOUS.” That’s what it is. But when you say what it means to me, it doesn’t mean anything to me because, you know…I just be chilling and working on me regardless so…When I said soft girl szn is just a trend that came about is because there’s a new phrase and new terminology rather for something that I’ve been practicing. So that’s that.”
I so appreciated the honesty and perspectives of these ladies.
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